Josh Henkin: My graduate students, many of whom are quite talented, are for the most part so afraid of being over the top that they're subtle to the point of obfuscation.
Sometimes I have this issue, but when it's late at night, and I'm writing about an evil character, I let go a little. This is a sample:
WARNING - NOT EDITED
Going back into himself, Fridley gathered the energy from the transporter, causing the lights to flicker, then go out. This caused the people around him to pause, then start shouting and going in closer. There was a flash and a sound like an implosion, and a cloud of the dust from around the transporter filled the car. The lights came on and created a sort of glow in the dustiness. Fridley stood up, not hunched over anymore, and looking handsome and strong, he pushed back his hair and started striding toward Kevin. Kevin spent another moment looking in the car for the other people, and he saw a couple people altogether, really, he saw four halves of people, the open halves of the people were seared off. Most of the half people were caught mid-stream, so they saw it coming, but one couple still had half of their mouths stuck together, enjoying the last minutes of their life. The sweetness of the situation made him throw up a little in his mouth.
What do you think? Do you like over the top? I'm not good at this for regular people, but during my editing process, I'll work on it.
